When I'm Gone

There's no place in this world where I'll belong when I'm gone
And I won't know the right from the wrong when I'm gone
And you won't find me singin' on this song when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here

And I won't feel the flowing of the time when I'm gone
All the pleasures of love will not be mine when I'm gone
My pen won't pour out a lyric line when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here

And I won't breathe the bracing air when I'm gone
And I can't even worry 'bout my cares when I'm gone
Won't be asked to do my share when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here

And I won't be running from the rain when I'm gone
And I can't even suffer from the pain when I'm gone
Can't say who's to praise and who's to blame when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here

Won't see the golden of the sun when I'm gone
And the evenings and the mornings will be one when I'm gone
Can't be singing louder than the guns when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here

All my days won't be dances of delight when I'm gone
And the sands will be shifting from my sight when I'm gone
Can't add my name into the fight while I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here

And I won't be laughing at the lies when I'm gone
And I can't question how or when or why when I'm gone
Can't live proud enough to die when I'm gone
So I guess I'll have to do it while I'm here

"When I'm gone"
Phil Ochs

Paradise

There's a thousand roads to get there
And each one looks the same
And with every step you're thinking
Should you have gone the other way

There are those who give directions
Even though they're lost themselves
And those who finally get there
Never really leave no trace of a trail

So, if you're searching for some peace of mind
Out in a world that is cold and unkind
Hoping someone will throw you a sign
Paradise is a hard place, a hard place to find

"Paradise"
Richie Havens

Not Pretty Enough

Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart too broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken
Don't I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me
I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me
I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break
I crave, I love, I've waited long enough
I try as hard as I can

"Not Pretty Enough"
 Kasey Chambers

I Know You By Heart

Midnights in winter
The glowing fire
Lights up your face in orange and gold
I see your sweet smile
Shine through the darkness
Its line is etched in my memory
So I'd know you by heart

Sharing our secrets
We'd walk until the morning was gone
We were like children
Laughing for hours
The joy you gave me lives on and on
’Cause I know you by heart
I still hear your voice
On warm summer nights
Whispering like the wind
Oh oh oh oh

You left in autumn
The leaves were turning
I walked down roads of orange and gold
I saw your sweet smile
I heard your laughter

You're still here beside me every day
’Cause I know you by heart
’Cause I know you by heart

"I Know You By Heart"
Diane Scanlon and Eve Nelson
*Performed by Eva Cassidy

Beyond beautiful!

See The Changes

She has seen me changing
It ain't easy rearranging
And it gets harder as you get older
Farther away as you get closer
And I don't know the answer
Does it even matter?
I'm wonderin' how

Seems like something out of a dream
I had years ago, yes, I remember screaming
Nobody laughing, all the good times
Getting harder to come by without weeping

"See the Changes"
Performed by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
*Written by Stephen Stills

Better Be Home Soon

Somewhere deep inside
Something's got a hold on you
And it's pushing me aside
See it stretch on forever
I know I'm right
For the first time in my life
That's why I tell youY
ou'd better be home soon

Stripping back the coats
Of lies and deception
Back to nothingness
Like a week in the desert

I know I'm right
For the first time in my life
That's why I tell you
You'd better be home soon
So don't say no, don't say nothing's wrong
'Cause when you get back home maybe I'll be gone
It would cause me pain
If we were to end it
But I could start again
You can depend on it
I know I'm right
For the first time in my life

That's why I tell you
You'd better be home soon

That's why I tell you
You'd better be home soon

Better Be Back Soon
Performed by Crowded House
*Written by Neil Finn

Over The Rainbow

Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.

Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Someday I'll wish upon a star and
Wake up where the clouds are far behind me.

Where troubles melt like lemon drops,
Away above the chimney tops.
That's where you'll find me.

Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then - oh, why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh, why can't I?

"Over The Rainbow"
Harold Arlen & E.Y. Harburg

A thousand different renditions, but the words are always the same. 
"Some day I'll wish upon a star and
 wale up where the clouds are far behind me."

Heaven Right Here

Come on over to my yard
Sit around
And let your troubles all disappear
Come on over to my yard
'Cause right now, heaven's right here.

"Heaven Right Here"
Jeb Loy Nichols

That's how it felt to me on Thanksgiving Day - a happy day!

I Don't Ever Give Up

I'm no fighter but I'm fighting
This whole world seems uninviting
But I don't give up, no, I don't ever give up
I fall down sometimes,
Sometimes I come back flying

Liars are lying, airplanes are flying
Love isn't here, love isn't here
But it's somewhere
Time to forget me,
But something won't let me
Love isn't here, love isn't here
But it's somewhere

And I cleaned and I washed up
This dream I don't ever give up
I don't ever give up, I don't ever give up
No, I don't ever give up,
No, I don't ever give up

No, I don't ever give up,
I don't ever give up

"I Don't Ever Give Up"
Patty Griffin
 
I don't ever give up - even when I want to - I don't ever give up
(at least for today)

Someday

Say it's been too hard.
Say it's been too long
Say it's all too much
The thrill has long been gone

Well I thought you could,
Yes, I thought you could,
And you thought you could too

But it's a place and time
Where the years behind
Are piled up high
But never mind
It's time to crash and burn
or fly

And I thought you could,
You know I thought you could
You know I thought you could too

"Someday"
Performed by Concrete  Blonde
*Written by Johnette Lin Napolitano

It seems the more things change, they more they do stay the same.

The Book Of Love

The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures and
Instructions for dancing

But I
I love it when you read to me
And you
You can read me anything

The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb

But I
I love it when you sing to me
And you
You can sing me anything

The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know

"The Book Of Love"
Peter Gabriel

We went to see Chris Smithers last night at World Cafe Live.  Paul Cebar opened and sang a simple acoustic version of Peter Gabriel's "The Book Of Love".  I had forgotten  what a pretty song it is.

Easy Silence

The easy silence that you make for me
It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me
And the peaceful quiet you create for me
And the way you keep the world at bay for me

The way you keep the world at bay for me
The way you keep the world at bay

"Easy Silence"
Performed by the Dixie Chicks
*Written by Dan Wilson, Martie Maguire, Natalie Maines, Emily Robinson

In the highs and lows of life
These are mountain moments

In My Life

There are places I'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain

All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

In my life I love you more

"In My Life"
Performed by the Beatles
* Written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney

In my life, I love you more.

Acoustic #3

They painted up your secrets
With the lies they told to you
And the least they ever gave you
Was the most you ever knew
And I wonder where these dreams go
When the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screaming?
No one's listening anyway
Your voice is small and fading
And you hide in here unknown
And your mother loves your father
'Cause she's got nowhere to go
And she wonders where these dreams go
'Cause the world got in her way
What's the point in ever trying?
Nothing's changing anyway
They press their lips against you
And you love the lies they say
And I tried so hard to reach you
But you're falling anyway
And you know I see right through you
'Cause the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screaming?
You're not listening anyway

Acoustic #3
Performed by the Goo Goo Dolls
* Written by John Rzeznick

This one remains a top-of-the-list favorite - both lyrically and musically

Sky Blue and Black

In the calling out to one another
Of the lovers up and down the strand
In the sound of the waves and the cries
Of the seagulls circling the sand
In the fragments of the songs
Carried down the wind from some radio
In the murmuring of the city in the distance
Ominous and lowI hear the sound of the world where we played
And the far too simple beauty
Of the promises we madeIf you ever need holding
Call my name, I'll be there
If you ever need holding
And no holding back, I'll see you through
Sky blue and blackWhere the touch of the lover ends
And the soul of the friend begins
Theres a need to be separate and a need to be one
And a struggle neither wins
Where you gave me the world I was in
And a place I could make a stand
I could never see how you doubted me
When Id let go of your handYeah, and I was much younger then
And I must have thought that I would know
If things were going to endAnd the heavens were rolling
Like a wheel on a track
And our sky was unfolding
And it'll never fold back
Sky blue and blackAnd I'd have fought the world for you
If I thought that you wanted me to
Or put aside what was true or untrue
If I'd known thats what you needed
What you needed me to doBut the moment has passed by me now
To have put away my pride
And just come through for you somehowIf you ever need holding
Call my name, I'll be there
If you ever need holding
And no holding back, I'll see you throughYou're the color of the sky
Reflected in each store-front window pane
Youre the whispering and the sighing
Of my tires in the rainYou're the hidden cost and the thing thats lost
In everything I do
Yeah and I'll never stop looking for you
In the sunlight and the shadows
And the faces on the avenueThats the way love is
Thats the way love is
Thats the way love is
Sky blue and black
"Sky Blue and Black"
 Jackson Browne

One of my favorite Jackson Browne songs and another song that makes me tearful.
     "You're the color of the sky
      Reflected in each store-front window pane
      You're the whispering and the sighing
      Of my tires in the rain"

Hallelujahs

A purple sky to close the day
I wade the surf where dolphins play
The taste of salt, the dance of waves
And my soul wells up with hallelujahs

A lightning flash, my pounding heart
A breaching whale, a shooting star
Give testimony that You are
And my soul wells up with hallelujahs
Oh praise Him all His mighty works
There is no language where you can’t be heard
Your song goes out to all the earth
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!
O cratered moon and sparrows wings
O thunder’s boom and Saturn’s rings
Unveil our Father as you sing
And my soul wells up with hallelujahs
Oh praise Him all His mighty works
There is no language where you can’t be heard
Your song goes out to all the earth
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!
The pulse of life within my wrist
A fallen snow, a rising mist
There is no higher praise than this
And my soul wells up
O my soul wells up
Yes my soul wells up with hallelujahs
Oh praise Him all His mighty works
There is no language where you can’t be heard
Your song goes out to all the earth
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!
O hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!

Hallelujahs
 Chris Rice

 Chris Rice never fails to remind me what its all about. Life is good!

The Kid

I'm the kid who has this habit of dreaming
Sometimes gets me in trouble too
But the truth is I could no more stop dreaming
Than I could make them all come true.

"The Kid"
Art Garfunkel
Performed by Art Garfunkel, Maia Sharp and Buddy Mondlock

I heard this last night on the way to dinner and was reminded of how much I love this music - and especially this verse. 

If Not For You

If Not For You
If not for you,
Babe, I couldn't find the door,
Couldn't even see the floor,
I'd be sad and blue,
If not for you.

If not for you,
Babe, I'd lay awake all night,
Wait for the mornin' light
To shine in through,
But it would not be new,
If not for you.

If not for you
My sky would fall,
Rain would gather too.
Without your love I'd be nowhere at all,
I'd be lost if not for you,
And you know it's true.

If not for you
My sky would fall,
Rain would gather too.
Without your love I'd be nowhere at all,
Oh! What would I do
If not for you.

If not for you,
Winter would have no spring,
Couldn't hear the robin sing,
I just wouldn't have a clue,
Anyway it wouldn't ring true,
If not for you.

"If Not For You"
 Bob Dylan


Kids, grandkids - all the stuff of life and love

The Cape

Eight years old with a floursack cape
Tied all around his neck
He climbed up on the garage
He's figurin' what the heck

Well, he screwed up his courage up so tight
That the whole thing come unwound
He got a runnin' start and bless his heart
He's headed for the ground

Well (yes) he's one of those who knows that life
Is just a leap of faith
Spread your arms and hold your breath
And always trust your cape

Now he's all grown up with a floursack cape
Tied all around his dreams
And he's full of spit and vinegar
And he's bustin' at the seams

Well, he licked his finger and he checked the wind
It's gonna be do or die
He wasn't scared of nothin' boys
He was pretty sure he could fly

Well (yes) he's one of those who knows that life
Is just a leap of faith
Spread your arms and hold your breath
And always trust your cape

Now he's old and gray with a floursack cape
Tied all around his head
He's still jumpin' off the garage
And will be till he's dead

All these years the people said
He was actin' like a kid
He did not know he could not fly
So he did

Well (yes) he's one of those who knows that life
Is just a leap of faith
Spread your arms and hold your breath
And always trust your cape

"The Cape"
 Performed by Kathy Mattea
* Written by Guy Clark, Susanna Clark, Jim Janosky

What a great song! Life consists of possibilities - you just have to believe!

Take Me As I Am

You're trying to reshape me in a moment
In the image of someone you used to know
I won't be a stand-in for an old love
Take me as I am or let me go.

"Take Me As I Am"
 Bob Dylan

Old Dylan music - I think from about 1970 - running around my head at 3:00 AM

Take Me As I Am

Slow to trust, but I'm quick to love,
I wish too hard, and I give too much,
I ain't sayin' I'm perfect,
But I promise I'm worth it.

"Take Me As I Am"
 Performed by Sugarland
* Written by Kristian Bush, Jeff Cohen, Jennifer Nettles

'Nuff said.

Killing The Blues

Leaves were falling ..Just like embers
In colors red and gold they set us on fire
Burning just like a moonbeam ..in our eyes
Somebody said they saw me
Swinging the world by the tail
Bouncing over a white cloud.
Killing the Blues
I am guilty of something
I hope you never do because there is nothing
Sadder than losing .. yourself in love
Now, you ask me just to leave you
To go out on my own and get what I need to
You want me to find ..what I've already had
Somebody said they saw me
Swinging the world by the tail
Bouncing over a white cloud.
Killing the Blues

Killing The Blues
 John Prine

I'm listening to Shawn Colvin on my iPod at the moment. If I had to pick between this version and Chris Smither's - I couldn't

This is one of THOSE songs that make me wish I were a songwriter and proves to me that I never could be.

On The Turning Away

On the turning away
From the pale and downtrodden
And the words they say
Which we won't understand
"Don't accept that what's happening
Is just a case of others' suffering
Or you'll find that you're joining in
The turning away"
It's a sin that somehow
Light is changing to shadow
And casting it's shroud
Over all we have known
Unaware how the ranks have grown
Driven on by a heart of stone
We could find that we're all alone
In the dream of the proud
On the wings of the night
As the daytime is stirring
Where the speechless unite
In a silent accord
Using words you will find are strange
And mesmerized as they light the flame
Feel the new wind of change
On the wings of the night
No more turning away
From the weak and the weary
No more turning away
From the coldness inside
Just a world that we all must share
It's not enough just to stand and stare
Is it only a dream that there'll be
No more turning away?

On The Turning Away  Pink Floyd

The first time I heard this song was at the end of a concert by Richie Havens.  He sang it acapella and when he was finished, the room hung, silent.

Seems appropriate today.

I Will Not Be Broken

Take me down
You can hold me but you
Can't hold what's within
Pull me round
Push me to the limit
Maybe I may bend
But I know where I'm not going

I will not be broken
I will not be broken
I will not be...

Someone other than who I am
I will fight to make my stand
Cause what is livin' if I can't live free
What is freedom if I can't be me

"I Will Not Be Broken"
 Performed by Bonnie Raitt
* written by Gordon Kennedy/Wayne Kirkpatrick/Tommy Sims
 
Sometimes it feels like that.  Sometimes I forget who I am.  Sometimes I have to remind myself to stand up. But I always stand up.

Talk About The Weather

One more empty exchange
where we fail to connect.
Everyone endlessly
spinning their wheels as we

talk about the weather.
As though we'll have forever.
As if our time's not racing by.

One more year of our lives
lost to fits and starts.
Throwing our days away,
lost like our breath
when we

talk about the weather.
We think we have forever
but all the while
Time's racing by.

We're so devil-may-care.
Wasting time, unaware.
Then it's one less day in our lives.
Our regret realized
too late.
We've spent our lives

talking 'bout the weather.
We thought we'd have forever
but now we've found
life's passed us by.

Bye, bye.

"Talk About The Weather"
 Jim Boggia

Keep it surface
deny and avoid
a mantra that
becomes a way of life
talk about the weather

Unwell

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me
"Unwell"
Rob Thomas
*Performed by Matchbox 20

"I'm not crazy. I'm just a little unwell.
 I'm not crazy. I'm just a little impaired."
Can't hear it (or think it) without smiling.

Nightswimming

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night
I'm not sure all these people understand
It's not like years ago,
The fear of getting caught,
Of recklessness and water
They cannot see me naked
These things, they go away,
Replaced by everyday
"Nightswimming"
 R.E.M.
* written by Berry/Buck/Mills/Stipe

This one always makes me cry, although I'm not sure why. There is a sadness and soulfulness to Michael Stipe that I feel - even when I don't want to.

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun.

Amazing Grace
John Newton (1725-1807)
* Stanza 6 anon.

Grace!

Some Days You Gotta Dance

Well I was talking with my baby
over a small glass of tea
He asked a loaded question
He said how do you feel about me
My mind was racin' I was pacin'
but the words just wouldn't come

And there was only one thing
left to do I feel it comin' on
Some days you gotta dance
Live it up when you get the chance
'Cause when the world doesn't make no sense
And you're feeling just a little to tense
Gotta loosen up those chains and dance

"Some Days You Gotta Dance"
Performed by the Dixie Chicks
* written by Morgan, Marshall, Johnson, Troy

The Dixie Chicks are singin' in my ear, but I also have this by Keith Urban and James Taylor.  It does make me want to dance. 

Landslide

Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life


Well, Ive been afraid of changing
cause Ive built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
Im getting older too


Oh, take my love, take it down
Climb a mountain and turn around
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide will bring it down

"Landslide"
 Performed by Fleetwood Mac
* Written by Stevie Nicks

At one point, this was the mantra of my life.  Some days I can't imagine there was ever a "child within my heart" - other days I think that maybe the child in our heart should never die.  A point of view maybe.  Don't let the light go out.

Stop This Train

No I'm not color blind
I know the world is black and white
Try to keep an open mind but...
I just can't sleep on this tonight
Stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
But honestly won't someone stop this train

Don't know how else to say it,
don't want to see my parents go
One generation's length away
From fighting life out on my own

Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again
I can't take the speed it's moving in
I know I can't
but honestly won't someone stop this train

So scared of getting older
I'm only good at being young
So I play the numbers game to find away to say that life has just begun
Had a talk with my old man
Said help me understand
He said turn 68, you'll renegotiate
Don't stop this train
Don't for a minute change the place you're in
Don't think I couldn't ever understand
I tried my hand
John, honestly we'll never stop this train

See once in a while when it's good
It'll feel like it should
And they're all still around
And you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
'til you cry when you're driving away in the dark.

Singing stop this train I want to get off and go home again
I can't take this speed it's moving in
I know I can't
Cause now I see I'll never stop this train

"Stop This Train"
 John Mayer

The things we don't talk about while life goes on around us - we think them - but most of the time we don't say them - too close to home, I guess.  Maybe the message is that we might as well enjoy the journey since we definitely can't stop the train.